(no subject)

[celestialsoul]

[Filter: Private]

I made ... such an idiot of myself, I ... I ...

Ah ...

... I was so ... so close. If I'd just done as I was supposed to, as I'd trained, without doing such a stupid little childish mistake, I could ... right now, I could be ...

Jace, and Lauren, and Keagan and Lawrence and Nessa and Kail ... they all think that they can fix this ... that they can ... make Ruseia change her mind and take me back out. They think that it's just a matter of ... of waiting a week ... two weeks ... even a month, for her little mood to pass. And then ... and then, I can ...

But ...

But I saw her eyes.

I did, I -- I saw the way she looked at me. She'll do anything she can to make sure I never get back on a wild pegasus again. She ... it's an insult to Eina, or ... or ... something. I don't ... I don't know why, but she doesn't want it to happen, and ... and what Ruseia doesn't want ...

...

I was so close.

I was so ... I was so close ...

And now ... now I may never ... I m [there is an inkblot, and then a long pause]

... what ...

[Filter: Jace]

... Jace?